Stop Internalizing Feedback from People You Wouldn’t Trade Places With.

Not all feedback is created equal. But we act like every critique deserves space in our heads - even from people whose careers, values, or lives we wouldn’t want for ourselves.

Here’s the truth: feedback says as much about the giver as it does about you. If it’s coming from insecurity, control, or bias, it’s not insight - it’s projection in a nice HR font.

From a psychological perspective, internalizing irrelevant feedback erodes self-trust. It keeps you chasing approval from the wrong audience instead of refining your skills with the right one.

So before you take that comment to heart, ask: Do I respect their results? Do I value their values? Do I want their version of success? If the answer is no, file their feedback under “data, not direction,” and move on.

Listen to people you’d trade places with. Learn from the rest - but don’t let them steer your life.